Wino

New thing of today, tried "The Big Kahuna" wine. 

Although this is not a happy tale. It is a tale of sadness and frustration. So my library project is due this Friday. I had to interview a librarian a few weeks ago to get my answers. She went over the questionnaire but also talked for a great deal, about 2.5 or more hours on the rest of the library system. It was an interesting and good interview. 

When I sat down today to fill out the questionnaire for class, I realized she really didn't answer some of the qualitative questions like "how many" and "how much" so I had to dig and research and filter through all the papers she gave me to figure it out. Wow was that annoying and frustrating. I just couldn't make heads or tails of the spreadsheets she gave me. Husband being the wonderful person he is helped me research and find a few answers so that was good. Overall I was very irritable and heated up and couldn't think straight. I thought turning in my questionnaire would be easy, and then you're sitting there 2 hours later like, what the F is the answer to this? So I save my answers and resolve to turn it in another day when I'm thinking straight and can crunch the numbers and sound eloquent in my answers. Just gotta do it soon.

Anyway so 9pm rolls around, and no new thing of the day. I'm irritable, angry and hating life. I'm also easily enraged because it is definitely about that time of the month. I want to go to a gym and kickbox something or run a few miles, but I don't have a membership because I want to save money. I think I'll have to bite that bullet and join a gym and I'm just hoping I use the thing. Anyway so, back to my story, I'm looking around the kitchen for something new to try and blog about.

The stash of wine appears and I see two The Big Kahuna red wine bottles from a party we went to long ago - they were prizes and looked good to try. Twisty caps are awesome and so unsophisticated but in an interesting way. Anyway I had a few sips and immediately felt better. No lie. 

I usually don't like drinking when I'm upset because I know it's not a good idea. This time though, it calmed me down and totally made me feel better. I've had very little, but it's giving me warm fuzzy feelings - literally. I know now why people in Russia drink so much Vodka. This cold weather - the alcohol really does help keep things warm. I feel better, so much better now. 

The flavor is, ok. It's a cabernet sauvignon/shiraz and I have no idea what that means. It tastes like, wine? Sorry I'm not really a sommelier so I couldn't tell you the difference, except that I know red wine is good for the heart, and part of me felt like it was relaxing some of the arteries and tightness in my chest. I only got angry again blogging and explaining the source of my frustration. When I drink and focus on the wine, it kind of melts away.

Odd thing is, any other night I would have grumbled off into the shower, got ready for bed and tried to shrug the whole thing off. I may have even gone running or exercising, but it's raining so can't do that. I would try to burn off this icky frustrated feeling with something else. I really didn't want to drink, but I had to try something new today and figured, hey why the F not? I'm not a fan of turning to alcohol to cure problems or having it be a band aid, so this is in no way going to become a habit. Although I am surprised how much it does help soothe the beast that was raging in me. It didn't make me angrier as I thought it would. It just - mellowed me out. I know it's bad, but it feels pretty good. No drunky drunk, just buzzy buzz.

Anyway, I'm going to take a nice hot shower now and with a little wine in my belly, I hope this overall good feeling sticks around. I only had a few sips and not even technically enough for a glass. Husband insisted I drink out of a glass instead of the bottle, even though I was ready to swig like a sailor. So a little - repeat - a LITTLE bit of wine when highly frustrated and not driving or planning on harming anyone or doing anything drastic, really helps to calm the nerves and gives me the warm fuzzies. I so do NOT support using it as a regular soother. I know the bad that comes with the good - and my philosophy of Balance.

I hate this hormonal stuff, and am looking forward to when I'm back to normal and not easily frustrated or enraged by the slightest things. New thing of the day - surprisingly successful, sips of Big Kahuna wine.

Cheers!