POWER!

New thing of the day, being in charge of my department at work.

It felt like a life test. For some weird reason, my boss has been turning to me a lot lately to be his second. He thinks highly of me and trusts me to take care of things when he's not around. I'm being "groomed". It's good, but also scary, because I am not the most senior person in the department and there are a lot of office politics to deal with.

Anyway, my boss was out today and specifically put me in charge of the place while he was gone. We had another senior member of the department out, so short staffed and in charge, I think I managed rather well. Better actually because I didn't have to call rank with someone more senior. Luckily I have a good/great relationship with the remaining members of my department, so things went pretty smoothly.

One thing came up in the afternoon needing some leadership and a decision. It's something that sort of affects the company at many levels. I think I handled it well, and will continue to handle it tomorrow and as the "project" rolls out. I'm a little nervous because I have to talk to everyone in the company tomorrow about this new plan, in place of my boss. I talked to him and he's cool with it but nervous about the roll-out just like I am. Our styles differ, but we appreciate the differences and aren't in conflict. I know my place and I try to play my hands evenly.

Anyway, it was overall I think a successful day. Tomorrow and other days will probably be harder, as I'll probably have to manage and eventually pull rank and decisions over people more senior than me in the department. We'll have to roll out this project with my leadership. I'll be the person people ask for the decision after awhile. It's awkward at times, and well, I dread being a bad leader, which perhaps is why I would be a good one? I think I have a level head and a cooperative attitude, which is probably my biggest advantage.

It's just surprising, but a nice surprise, that a boss thinks I'm good enough to take over after him. It's amazing and a nice confidence builder, even though I'm not confident. It's an interesting test, with him being gone. I'm truly honored but also afraid of disappointing or acting like an ass. I don't want to make any mistakes. I guess the best way to make sure is to cover bases, ask lots of questions and talk to lots of departments to make sure that we're getting it right. Communicate when need be.

Anyway it's not always the easiest thing being in charge and having the decisions of the department in your hands. I may be over dramatizing, but it's how it feels. Everything is new from this vantage point. Here's to crossing my fingers and hope I step carefully. Gotta be smart and lucky to make this work. Eeek!